The Kessler Family History

Every family has a story of how they began. The best way for me to share the Kessler family story with you is to share with you a letter my Father wrote to his children on his 34th wedding anniversary.

(click here for other family stories)

 

September 28, 1996

 

Dear Deb,

 

If you don't mind I will share today's letter with the rest of the family. You'll see why.

 

Thirty-four years ago today we had our wedding rehearsal. Family and friends were all coming to Wyandotte, Michigan for it. Times have changed. That's where the Roberts lived. Wyandotte is a suburb of Detroit.

 

We wanted a very simple family wedding with few guests, no big reception and certainly no meal. When the extended family of Mom's (grandma's and aunts) caught wind of such notions they changed our plans. We had over three hundred people, massive reception and a full spread to feed everyone for several weeks.

 

Mom's family mostly lived there, of course. They were all there as part of all of the activities. So were many of her neighborhood and church friends. Some of her friends, however, did not come. They were Roman Catholic, and, back then, you had to get the priest's permission to attend a protestant wedding or church service.

 

Grandma and Grandpa Kessler, Mason and Hisako Kessler, Dean and Jean Kessler all came from northwestern Indiana for the drive. That's probably about 275 miles. No divided, four lane freeways then, mostly two lane highways similar to the ones in Alaska now. Galen's car broke down and he was never able to make it. There were no franchise motel/hotel chains then, except for Howard Johnson’s. In fact, motels were a novel new idea that didn't really catch on until after the divided freeways and then the interstate highways.

 

The wedding party came from mostly Michigan and Indiana. Mom's matron of honor was Glenna Homiester, a church friend from the youth group there in Wyandotte. She was thinking of asking Dorothy Knurek, her next-door neighbor, but she was Catholic and unable to do it. Her bridesmaid was Judy, her sister who still lived at home.

 

My best man was Marvin Biery a good friend I met at Great Lakes Bible College. I use to go home with him on weekends. My groomsman was Dough Holley, another friend from Great Lakes Bible College.

 

The preacher was Wilbur Saph a good friend in Wyandotte. When he died in the late 1980's his widow sent to us his original notes. Jim Girdwood (another friend from Great Lakes) was our soloist. He sang, "Each For The Other and Both For The Lord" (from the old silver and blue Favorites hymn book) and "Savior, Like A Shepherd Lead Us." The organist was Edith Schroeder, a good church buddy of mom's.

 

Most all of the arrangements of the entire gala was made by letter, people hardly called long distance then. You could, but there were no area codes, so you dialed the operator and said, "My number is Munster 1055R" (notice they didn't know your number until you told them? People were so much more honest then.) "and I would like to make a station to station call to Wyandotte, Michigan, number 773-4569."

 

A much more expensive way to make the same call was to call person to person. If the person you wanted, say, Joan Roberts was not at the "station" you called then the operator would let you ask several questions of the person who answered at the "station". Such as, "Do you expect them back at a certain time? Or, Is there a number I can call to reach them? Or, Would you have them call this number when they return?" Who needed answering machines? Of course, if you did reach them person-to-person you paid dearly for the privilege.

 

The letters then did not have any zip code, that was still coming down the road. Name and address got it delivered in two, sometimes three days. Cost 5 cents then or, you could use a penny post card that really cost a penny.

 

Over the years Mom has had a small ache in her memory because on the morning of the wedding her Dad not able to “give her away”. Then, that meant twice what it does now in social importance, love and respect!

 

The wedding rehearsal went well, although it was difficult to control the smart remarks since most of us were young preachers who had been buddies in college. The ceremony went well also. The reception was downstairs, as was the reception dinner. Back then you opened each gift individually and acknowledged who gave it, what their relationship to you was and that you were thankful for it.

 

September 29 was during the World Series then. Shorter ball season, 154 games. Lot less teams with no divisional play. During the wedding reception our best man, Marv, and our groomsman, Doug, went up to the car radio to check scores. This was before transistors and portable radios. Nothing on your own head with earphones, of course.

 

After the reception Grandma and Grandpa Kessler and Dean and jean Kessler took the gifts back with them since we would be living just thirty miles from them in Indiana. Mom and I had a 1959 VW bug. European style, larger tail lights and rather than a fuel tank gauge you had a fuel tank reserve with a bar you flipped over to open it when the regular tank ran out. Mom never learned to like the reserve feature. Had to flip it with your foot while the car just quit because it ran out of gas. She almost took it personally like the car didn’t want to run for her any longer.

 

We went to Roberts for a while and then dressed for the honeymoon. We left in the early evening. It was Saturday. We stopped in Lansing and ate at Lights Restaurant on Federal Route 27 North. That was where we learned to eat tin roof sundaes, had some then.

 

We drove north for a while and found a motel near Coe, Michigan. We were planning to visit with the Coe church the next morning. This is where Jim and Lorraine Mick were ministers. These good friends from college had been to the wedding Saturday. We ate lunch with them, toured some of the area’s tourist attractions with them. The fall colors were outstanding that weekend and North central Michigan was having an Indian Summer with temperatures in the 80’s. That evening we sang three quartet numbers for the church service.

 

They had a hide-a-bed in the living room, so invited us to stay with them. We did that night and the next. On Tuesday morning we started from Coe, Michigan to drive home to Deep River, Indiana. Still perfect weather. We got home in the early evening.

 

The church families had a cowbell pad locked to our bedsprings. When they discovered we were home on Wednesday evening instead of having church services they chivalried us. Made us ride in a manure wagon through some farm fields. Woke us up a couple times during the evening. Shot off shotguns in the air. Banged on pans and blew on whistles. They had a lot of fun. (Chivalreeing was a custom that is no longer practiced. Friends and family would distrubt the weding couple on thier weding night. The couple was supposed to treat them with candy or whatever so they would leave, but most newlyweds didn't have any treats. So the "noise makers" would leave when they got ready to leave.)

 

We were twenty. John F. Kennedy was president (I supported Richard Nixon as a young preacher, but was too young to vote since you still had to be twenty-one). I made $10 a week preaching fulltime at Deep River Church of Christ, Crown Point, Indiana. One of the church families owned a motel on Federal Route 30 (a divided highway made out of cement, one of the first in the area) and they let me stay in whatever motel room was not booked for the evening. Or, in the winter, I got to stay in one of their kitchenettes.

 

When we got married we stayed in Mrs. Hester Moreland’s farmhouse with her. She had a bedroom downstairs. There was a bath, kitchen, dining room, and other bedroom and the living room downstairs. There were four bedrooms upstairs. We used one for a bedroom, one for a sitting room (to entertain our guests or ourselves, a year latter it became Cheryl’s bedroom) and I used one for the church office. We had to go downstairs to use her phone. Extension phones or dual lines were not done, yet. If you had a phone you had one, usually, like hers, in the dinning room.

 

After we were married they gave me a raise to $30. We easily ate on half of the salary, about $15. The farmers, of course would entertain us by feeding us. That was something they had much of, food and we didn’t mind the extra help in budgeting. Mrs. Moreland gave us the rent, heat and utilities. Mom cleaned the house and cooked supper for her in exchange. She was a fourth grade school teacher at a nearby school.

 

The Charlesworths (the motel owners) or the Owen Kenworthys (the older farmers) liked to take us to the fancy restaurant on Route 30 once in a while, especially on Sunday after church. One time, after a Christmas bonus, we took ourselves. Full meal would cost about $3. Soup, salad, entre, two vegetables, a diner roll and sherbet.

 

That was 34 years ago. When I write about it seems as if it is all as new and clear as yesterday’s chores.

 

I love your Mom with a love that comes from the Lord. My love for her is deep and ever increasing. My you be blessed with this sort of loving, caring memory that reaches pleasantly through the years.

 

Love ya ……………Dad